


Character Witness

by Mad_Maudlin



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: F/M, Gen, Humor, aliens tried to kill them, team friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-18
Updated: 2011-02-18
Packaged: 2017-10-15 18:04:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/163449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mad_Maudlin/pseuds/Mad_Maudlin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A man is known by the company he keeps.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Character Witness

"We're going to die."

"Shut up, Rodney."

 _Thump._

"We're going to die on the planet of the chauvenists."

"Shut _up,_ Rodney."

 _Thump!_

"We're so gonna die--"

 _THUMP!_

"Rodney," John growled, "Shut. Up. Ronon, if you keep doing that you're going to break something."

"That's the point," Ronon growled, flexing his biceps again.

"I meant something like a _bone."_

They were tied firmly to a framework of posts, each as thick around as John's forearm, and buried so deeply in the ground that Ronon's repeated, concerted efforts barely made them twitch. A few yards away, a bonfire was working its way up to a high, steady blaze. This was all the end result of a complicated series of events with the Adlabi Elder Council that John wasn't entirely certain he could explain despite having been there the entire time; he was, however, confident of two things. One, this was not actually his fault, or Rodney's, or Ronon's. Two, none of this would've happened if Teyla had been there.

Of course, if she had been there, things might've hypothetically gotten worse. _My people have had little contact with the Adlabi, and only in times of great need,_ she had said when they proposed this mission. _They have many strict taboos and little tolerance for outsiders._ One of those taboos apparently had to do with interaction between men and women, or lack thereof, which in practical terms meant that they hadn't seen an Adlabi woman or girl in the entire time they'd been on the planet, and that Teyla had been forced to wait by the gate while John tried to wing this one on his own.

Hence the posts, and the fire, and what promised to be a very abrupt and painful transition from one to the other. The moral of the story was inescapable, as were the ropes.

"Cool it, Chewie," John hissed when Ronon gathered himself for another attempt to break free. "Teyla had plenty of time to get back to Atlantis. Reinforcements are gonna be here any minute now."

"And for the sake of dramatic irony, I hope it's Major Teldy," Rodney added fiercely.

"Don't want to need reinforcements," Ronon muttered, but he at least relaxed his arms minutely.

"That's better," John said, right before one of their guards—a teenager who had some stringy peach fuzz attempting to imitate the bushy beards of his elders—smacked him on the back of the head with some kind of truncheon. John only remembered at the last minute not to turn around and glare at him; eye contact was another thing that Adlabi had complicated rules for, and they needed to not make this any worse before Teyla got here with the heavy artillery. (He also wouldn't be averse to an appearance by Teldy, at that. Cadman would be nice, too. And Mehra. And a rocket launcher.)

The aforementioned had started throwing bundles of fragrant herbs onto the bonfire, which meant the Heretic Flambe was fast approaching. Rodney looked on with glazed eyes while chanting under his breath something that sounded a lot like "clear blue skies;" Ronon started flexing his biceps again. John, for his part, tried not to keep looking over his shoulder at the path to the gate, reasoning that any reinforcements would probably come at the bonfire site through the woods, in order to take the Adlabi by surprise. One of the Adlabi elders raised up his arms and started to chant in what sounded like a bastardized version of Ancient, and John was just thing _any time you want to drop down some flashbangs, guys, I'm game--_

And then an unfamiliar voice called out clearly, "This one would address the Council of Elders!"

John twisted around to look so quickly he felt a vertebra pop. There was a man standing on the path to the gate, and between the angle and the smoke and the sheer absurdity of it all, it took John a few minutes to recognize...Kanaan. He wore a long Athosian coat in spite of the combined heat of the sun and the fire, and stood placidly, eyes averted, waiting for a response. Some distance behind him was a pile of black fabric that was the right height to be Teyla, if Teyla had suddenly been possessed of the urge to wear a quilted burka or seven. If that was how Adlabi women were supposed to dress, John had probably mistaken a few of them for furniture.

The elder who had been chanting looked bewildered for a few moments, and there was a great deal of staring in any direction except directly at Kanaan while muttering. Rodney had snapped out of his panic enough to screech "What?!" in an affronted tone, and the young guard smacked him with the truncheon so that John didn't have to. John caught Ronon's eye; he just shrugged.

"The Council will hear this one's plea at the appropriate hour," one of the elders finally declared.

"The Council is good and wise, and it is only right that this one wait until the hour of their choosing to address them," Kanaan said. "It causes this one great sorrow to plead for audience sooner, though the matter is urgent and cannot be delayed."

"What is this urgent matter, Outworlder, that you interrupt our sacred rites?" another elder asked peevishly.

"O wise one, it is the matter of the rites themselves, and these ones who have so greatly wronged you, and thus forfeited their lives, as is your honorable and ancient custom." Kanaan said.

("Why is he agreeing with them?" Rodney hissed.

"Quiet, Rodney, he's sucking up.")

"What business have you with these ones who we give now to the heavens, that the Wraith may take their souls?" the first first elder demanded.

"O wise one, I have no business with them, but only a great debt," Kanaan said. "And because of that debt, this one stands before you now to plead for their lives and the blood which we hold in common."

A murmur went through the Adlabi, while John tried to figure out what blood Kanaan was talking about (and Rodney huffed "Finally!" and earned another bop on the head). The oldest of the elders, with a beard near the ground, stood up and demanded, "Name yourself, Outlander, if you hold common blood with these blasphemers."

"I am Kanaan, son of Marta, in the fashion of my people," Kanaan declared. "My father was Edric and his father was Hallen."

"You are a son of Athos," one of the elders said. "I know you, and I knew the face of your father. How do you claim to hold common blood with these?"

"I do not claim the blood by birth," Kanaan said. "For these ones were born under other suns than I, far from this place, and I do know their fathers' faces. But between us does lay blood, O wise one, and debt, and a great affection; for they have stood between me and mine and the Wraith, they have granted us shelter when we wandered and food when we starved, they have given great gifts to us out of no obligation and they protected our lives with their own. I fought at their side in a great battle against the Wraith, and I swear on the face of my father that we were victorious against them, if only for one day. They are as brothers to the mother of my child, and I..." Kanaan's voice cracked, but that was probably just from the lengthy speech, and the heat. Probably. "These ones returned to me my life, my soul, and my family. My son was born on their knees. So I say to you, O wise one, though we are not kindred, we are kind: these ones are as brothers to me, and I come now to claim that blood which you hold forfeit."

Silence followed for a while—silence but for the murmuring of the Adlabi and the crackling of the fire and Rodney saying "Huh," way too loudly. A couple of the elders actually went into a huddle, and off to on side another teenager squirmed uncertainly while holding a bundle of firewood and herbs. John twisted his head around again to look at Kanaan, but the man was as still as a stone, still staring at no point in particular; neither he nor the lumpy mass of what was probably Teyla had moved an inch since approaching the clearing.

Eventually the huddle broke. "The crimes of these ones were very great."

"O wise one, this is true," Kanaan said. (Rodney didn't manage to do more than squawk before that kid with the truncheon got him.)

"Have you excuse for them?"

"Only that they acted in ignorance," Kanaan said, "and for that I stand guilty, not they, for I failed to instruct them before they passed through the Ancestor's Ring."

"Ignorance is not innocence," the one with the biggest beard said direly, but another elder piped up, "You speak highly of them, Kanaan Edric-son. And I knew the face of your father, and his father before him. It was not so many summers ago that you traded among us, was it not?"

"Indeed, o wise one, I have been among you many times," Kanaan said, which was news to John.

"And you have always dealt with our people honorably..." This provoked another huddle.

("Are they seriously going to commute our sentence because they _like_ him?" Rodney muttered, eyes straying towards the bonfire again. "Not that I'm complaining or anything, but _Christ.")_

Finally the elders came up for air. "Edric-son, you are a friend to the Adlabi," they declared. "And as these ones are friends to you, we recognize your claim on their blood and lives. Thus their punishment is in your hands, and we trust that you shall extract true justice for their crimes."

"By my father's father, it shall be done," Kanaan said straight-faced.

And just like that, John felt a knife blade precariously close to the inside of his wrist as the first ropes were being cut free. "O blasphemers, know that your lives are forfeit if you return to this world, and that the son of Edric of Athos has done a great thing for you; your lives are his to do with as he pleases," the guy with the long beard intoned solemnly.

"Kanaan Edric-Son, you are charged with their punishment...or instruction," another elder said, and he may have even _winked._ "I am certain you shall be equal to the task."

"O wise one, this one is honored by your demonstration of faith," Kanaan said, and bowed slightly. The entire conversation had taken place over a distance of at least thirty feet.

John, Rodney and Ronon were cut loose from the pole, but their wrists were immediately retied in front of them, on one long lead. This was handed over to Kanaan, like a leash, and he turned and marched out of the clearing fast enough that John's stiff, cramped legs had a hard time keeping up with him. "Hey, thanks, man--"

"Keep silence," Kanaan said harshly.

John blinked, nearly tripped, and kept walking.

After nearly ten minutes of silent not-quite-running, Teyla—who, honestly, John had nearly forgotten about—suddenly declared from somewhere under her robes, "We may stop here."

"We should go further," Kanaan said, but it was high and nervous, not the commanding calm he'd had in the clearing.

Teyla stopped, and wrestled off all her robes at once. Underneath she was drenched in sweat and wearing enough weapons and ammunition for a minor coup attempt. "It is far enough, Kanaan. The Adlabi have not pursued us."

"Does this mean we can talk now?" Rodney asked. "Because can I just say, holy _shit?"_

"You want to catch us up on what just happened?" John added. "Or cut us loose? Preferably both?"

Kanaan reached into his coat for a knife, and John caught sight of a nine mil holstered on his thigh. Teyla also drew a knife and they made short work of the ropes. "When I realized how badly the negotiations with the Adlabi had gone, I returned to Atlantis," Teyla said. "I feared that rescuing you by force would only harm many innocents, but I was also well aware of how the Adlabi deal with those who insult them. But the elders would not negotiate with a woman, and Mr. Woolsey is equally unfamiliar with their customs..."

"So she asked you?" John asked Kanaan.

Kanaan gave Teyla something approaching a dirty look. "I was meant only to coach Mr. Woolsey from a safe distance. Ideally while remaining in Atlantis."

"There was not enough time," Teyla said wearily. "And the Adlabi would not have had such trust for yet another stranger. And you did _well."_

Kanaan blinked at her, irritation evaporating. "Seriously," Rodney said enthusiastically as he prodded the raw abrasions on his wrists. "That was amazing. Where did you come up with that stuff?"

"It was true," Kanaan said.

"It...oh." Rodney blinked. "Really?"

Kanaan nodded.

"Mushy stuff later," John declared, as he suddenly had a reason to avoid eye contact that didn't involve a truncheon. "Right now we need to get back to the gate before the Adlabi decide we're not being punished properly."

"Take a weapon," Teyla said, and offered John one of the two (two!) P-90s hanging around her neck. "As a precaution."

"So were you the backup plan?" Ronon asked, retrieving the blaster he'd left with her for safe keeping.

"If the negotiations had gone poorly, I would have attempted to free you by force," Teyla said.

"What was Kanaan's part in that?" John asked.

Kanaan, without a trace of embarrassment, said: "To run back to the gate as fast as I am able."

"See, I like that plan," John said. "Plays to everybody's strengths."

And they could've happily made it back to the gate on a bubble of slightly awkward camaraderie, except then Ronon had to ask: "So what's our punishment?"

Kanaan and Teyla each paused half a second, and looked at one another. Teyla began to smile slightly.

"Wait," Rodney said. "Wait a minute, you're not—I mean, you weren't serious about punishing us, right? You weren't."

"I have sworn an oath, Dr. McKay," Kanaan said innocently.

"But that's—I mean—we didn't even _do_ anything!" Rodney squawked as they made their way home. "And I mean it this time! I didn't insult anybody on purpose for the first time like a month! And you can't do anything to us, Atlantis is not in their jurisdiction, and anyway we're already your free babysitting service until the heat death of the universe so it's hardly fair..."


End file.
